Sunday, January 28, 2007

I tried this once and failed miserably...

I really am kinda horrible at this blog thing. I do have a blog on Myspace, but I thought I'd try blogger out. My cousin, (hi Lisa!) has a blog and lately I have been lurking on other blogs and it has inspired me to try my own. Be forwarned though, I live a boring, quiet life, so I might not have anything interesting to post. I don't have any kids, so I can't post anything about them, and I doubt y'all want to read a blog about my pets. Although, they do do cute things, so I might have to post about them once and awhile.

So, since I've started this thing, allow myself to introduce...myself...
My name is Becky and I love Jesus. Is that a good introduction? Well, let me go further. I am very happily married to a wonderful Christian man named Eric and we live in a cute little house in the ugly desert of Southern California. We both work for a civil engineering firm and I look forward to the day when I can quit. I have a love/hate relationship with my job. I love the company I work for, I just hate the work I do and I'm really sick of the clients I have to deal with on a daily basis. After much praying about the direction of my life, I really feel that God is leading me to be a stay at home mom.

For the past 4 or 5 years, I have pushed the thought of motherhood out of my mind completely. I didn't want a kid because we were happy with our life. We like spending "our" money and we like to do what we want, when we want. Now God is leading me in another direction. The reason I am so dissatisfied with my job is because in my heart of hearts, it's not what I really want to do. I really do want to be a mom and I really want to take care of my home and my husband. The problem now is that I can't afford it.

I can already hear some of you say "If you wait till you can afford a baby, you'll never have one." I, for one, believe that is a bunch of hooey. I know that our finances won't be perfect when we (or God, rather) decide to have a baby, but we can be more prepared than we are. Once we pay off the last of our bills, It will be much easier for me to quit my job and stay at home. It still will be a struggle to get used to one income, however it will be possible for me to stay home. Now, it's just not an option.

Since I have been struggling with my role as a wife, I had felt that I wasn't the best help mate for my husband. Our home is a mess most of the time and our dinners usually consist of fast food or something we can nuke for 5 minutes, because I usually don't have the time or energy to cook after a long, mentally exhausting day at work. After sharing my feelings to My husband, He, the wonderful man that he is, pointed out that I AM being his help meet. With my income, I am helping pay off some bills, and that is helping him in the long run. I am so greatful that he sees it that way. It really took a load off of my mind and my heart.

Well, I can see that this blog might turn into a therapist. I usualy don't type this much, but it felt really good to get all that out and see it in writing. I hope my ramblings don't bore you too much...

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