Thursday, June 28, 2007

Four in Row?!?!?!

I'm really taking advantage of being caught up at the moment. I know when I come back to work on Monday, I will be overwhelmed. When I have a down time, my brain just goes and goes, so I thought I would post on what's in my head.

Is it okay to have a change of heart? Just a couple months ago all I could think about was staying at home and having a baby. I think I was just so unhappy at work, anything sounded good to me. Now that I'm happy, I really feel that I could wait a few more years till I have a kid (sorry mom!). I'm only 26, so I can wait a couple more years. Many women have kids in their 30's and it works out fine! Eric and I both enjoy our time together and we don't feel the need to have a kid right now. We like the idea of being able to go where we want, when we want and not have to worry about a babysitter, or lugging a bunch of baby stuff everywhere. We like sleeping in on Saturdays and having an occasional "lazy day" here and there. Okay, I admit it, we are spoiled and we like it that way.

Now, if God has other plans in mind for us and I got pregnant before we felt we were ready to have a a baby, we would be fine with that because we know God has better things in mind for us. I'm always open and ready for God's will and we would make it work if I just so happened to get pregnant.

I don't know. I'm just really happy with the way our lives are going right now and I want to keep it that way. I don't feel the *need* to have a kid, so I'm not worrying about it.

I've pretty much stopped reading some of the "mommy blogs" I used to. Some of them were so anti working women I just started to feel discouraged and I questioned weather or not I was a good wife. After Eric assured me I was a great wife, I re-evaluated a few things and prayed over what makes a wife good helper, and I realized (with the help of my man) that I AM helping him by working.

I shouldn't have to feel sorry about that. I shouldn't feel discouraged because I enjoy working. I shouldn't feel like an awful wife because I only do laundry and clean my house on the weekends instead of every day, or make a fancy dinner every night (or ever). I should feel like a good helper because I'm serving my husband in the way that he wants. Not the way that other women serve their husbands.

All in all, I know I am at the place where God wants me.
Shouldn't that be what matters most?


AnneK said...

Came over here from Kyla's. I like this post for the honesty. Let me assure you there is nothing wrong with having a career and family. And it is very sad that lot of people do not get it. And confuse it with Biblical standards. There are people like you out here, although we seem to be few. :) Good luck with everything!

Kyla said...

hi, I just wanted to echo what AnneK said and add that I completely understand. I have wanted nothing more in the world than to be a mother, but I am enjoying this time with my husband and my career. I turned 30 this year and while we would love to have a baby in the next year or so we are going to take advantage of this time by travelling and sleeping in!!

Anonymous said...

Hey Beck,

Amen to you sister! As long as you're where God wants you, you ARE doing what you're supposed to be doing. Measuring yourself by other people's standards is a waste of time. And aren't husband's great. We spin ourselves in these great tangled bands of twisted logic, and then they look at the situation, take a great big pair of "logic" scissors and snap. . .it' all clear. You have a very insightful husband in Eric (You can tell him I said that!) I love that you're figuring out who you are not through some life-long "to do" list, but by what God's showing you right now. It's very cool.

Your cus' Lisa

the feathered nest said...

Hi, Just want to say that I'm one of those women that didn't have children until I was in my 30's and waiting was the right thing for me. My husband and I were married for 5 years before we had our daughter and it was a wonderful 5 years of enjoying just being married and getting to really know each other.